


Dirty blond isn't random.

by enigmaticma



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Johnny being an idiot, M/M, Not Beta Read, Soulmates, The ending sucks I know let me work on that someday, finding your soulmate isn't easy breasy when you are an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28041060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticma/pseuds/enigmaticma
Summary: Johnny had been dreaming of his soulmate for ages.He didn't expect himself to be such an idiot that he missed his soulmate right when he was under his nose.
Relationships: Nakamoto Yuta/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Dirty blond isn't random.

Johnny, for the lack of better words, fucked up. 

He was so focused on finding his soulmate, a man he dreamed off every night since he could remember, that he found himself losing the job opportunity his father worked hard to secure for him in Chicago. He ended up jobless in Seoul. 

Technically, he was a bartender in one of the well respected Gay bars of Seoul. One of the rarest too. So it was paying well and he had time to follow hints and pointers left in his dreams.

"For how long?" Mark, his cousin from his mother's side, asked him when he passed by to check on him. "Mom said your father decided to disown you, Johnny. You can't keep chasing a dream, it only hurts people around you."

Johnny nodded. "I know but also know that I don’t quit easily. If I give up now, it will only mean that nothing I did so far mattered. I know I am close," Johnny said as he was cleaning the cups. "I am not lucky like you to find love so easily."

Mark blushed instantly which made Johnny scoff. "I am not lucky, Yuta hyung and I built this love."

"Yeah. Yeah, I believe you. When are you going to introduce me to your man? I knew about him * when you are working."

"Maybe someday, I will take a night off and meet him with you." He offered to which Mark agreed. 

However, Mark told him a week after that Yuta got a night off and Mark convinced him and a few friends to have a drink in Johnny’s bar. Johnny didn't think much of it and agreed to book a table for him. 

He had his soulmate to find. On his dream that day, he noticed that his soulmate's hair turned blond. The colour wasn't clear but it looked dirty blond. 

So when Mark showed up with two blond-haired men, of the same height - almost, both wearing edgy looking style, Johnny's mind fried. "Johnny, this is Yuta, my boyfriend and this is Ten, a friend of mine." Mark’s voice brought Johnny back to reality and he instantly didn’t try or even looked at Yuta. He bowed at him with a commercial smile and focused at the man who looked quite uncomfortable after a while. “Dude, what the fuck? stop staring,” Mark scolded with amusement and Johnny just set his towel aside and left the bar, giving Mark a slight hint to follow him. 

They got in the staff bathroom and Johnny started pacing.

“Are you okay, Man? You looked like someone hit you with a bat,” Mark said as he closed the door. 

Johnny looked at him, the panic was written on his face, “I think Ten is my soulmate. I know my soulmate’s size, I keep seeing his back silhouette and I know his style when he goes out, and just this morning, my soulmate’s hair was dirty blond. It all clicked together, Mark. Ten is my soulmate.” 

Mark’s expression was dark, almost confused and doubtful, but he nodded nonetheless. “But it could not be him, too, right? Maybe you should calm down and befriend Ten, see if you find anything else similar with your soulmate,” he said eventually and Johnny nodded.

“Yeah, right, I’m sorry. I’ll try to slow down,” Johnny assured before he and Mark left the place and returned to Yuta and Ten. They found four more people with them and Johnny led them to a boot but as Ten was about to sit in with them, Johnny held his hand and bowed slightly. “Sorry for making you uncomfortable,” he said without looking into Ten’s eyes. 

“It’s okay,” Ten said with a bright smile and Johnny somehow didn’t like the smile. It didn’t feel like his soulmate’s even if he had never seen it in his dreams. He looked at Mark who seemed to be in busy flirting with his boyfriend and gave up trying to make sense of it. It could be a shock too.

He left them to the bar and tried to focus for the night; he barely managed to. Once home, he ate, showered, before he slept soundlessly in bed. He woke up lost in the evening because he had no dream. He always dreamed that he is chasing after his soulmate, never miss a day, so not to have one meant only one thing.

“Ten is my soulmate,” Johnny told Mark by text. “I didn’t dream of him today, because I met him.” 

“It could be that you didn’t dream because you were emotional and focused on Ten. Try for a while before you say that,” Mark offered and Johnny frowned. He didn’t expect Mark to say that. 

He still didn’t try to contact Ten or find him until he spent two weeks without dreams. It meant he met his soulmate, Johnny was sure of it, so he didn’t hesitate to ask Mark to bring Ten along. “I want to make my move,” he said with a wide smile. 

“Good luck, Johnny,” Mark said with a forced smile. 

Johnny was weirded out by how Mark didn’t seem enthusiastic. “Are you okay?”

“I broke up with Yuta,” Mark announced, “I found out I had a soulmate too.” 

Johnny nearly let his cup fall. “What?” He looked at Mark, waiting for an explanation and the man just emptied his cup, wincing, and looked at him expressionlessly. “Who is your soulmate?” 

“Some annoying kid,” Mark nonchalantly said, “he is Chinese, for sure, and he is still a freshman while I graduated last year, so younger and… I don’t know, man. It was the weirdest thing to live.” 

“You had dreams of him?” Johnny asked him and Mark shook his head, “then how did you know he was your soulmate?” 

“I knew it the second I saw his face. I didn’t even have to look into his eyes to know it was him,” Mark admitted, “and from his reaction when he saw me, he knew I was his soulmate in that second too.” 

“That’s amazing, Mark,” Johnny said despite how he frowned thinking of it when his cousin left. “I wasn’t sure he is my soulmate… I didn’t feel in me that he was my soulmate.” He guessed that it meant Ten wasn’t his soulmate after all. 

He still met Ten, spoke and even flirted with him, but Ten eventually turned him down. “I have a boyfriend,” Ten admitted, “I didn’t want to lead you on but I didn’t know how to say it.” 

“It’s okay, I understand.” Johnny smiled as he filled Ten’s cup. He still wondered why his dream stopped. “Who was with you the first time we met?” 

“Oh, Yuta? He is your cousin’s boyfriend,” Ten reminded and Johnny nodded. He remembered that he briefly looked at Yuta when he got in after Mark and how his brain fried because he kept looking at the two blond men, knowing well one of them was his soulmate.

It hit him like a truck that it was Yuta all along. “I see. Thank you.” 

Ten was kind enough to keep comments for himself and Johnny was grateful. That day, Johnny called Mark as he laid in bed, ready to sleep. “Why are you calling me so early?” 

“Did you know, when I told you about my soulmate, that I was talking about Yuta? Is that why you told me to wait until I’m sure?” Johnny asked, realizing he was upset, “did you think I would take your boyfriend away?” 

“No, Yuta told me not to tell you,” Mark admitted, “he thinks you are a lunatic idiot and he refused to give you a chance, so yeah. I mean he knew you were his soulmate the second he saw you while you didn’t even spare him a glance, you didn’t even look at his face when you greeted him.”

“He was your boyfriend, I didn’t even want to interact with him because he was your boyfriend. A no-looking and no-touching zone,” Johnny whined, “How did he expect me to interact with my little bro’s boyfriend?” 

Mark chuckled on the other side of the phone. “I’ll let him know you were being loyal to your little bro and to give you a chance,” Mark said before humming, “actually, I know you have a night off, or you won’t spend your sleeping time talking to me. Why don’t you get him some food and deliver it to the hospital he works in? I’ll text you the address.” 

“Thanks, man,” Johnny mumbled as he slowly drifted to sleep. 

He indeed packed food he knew by heart was Yuta’s favourite and stood by the reception melting with nerves. He was terrified of rejection. He was even prepared for it. 

“I’m here for Nakamoto Yuta, I brought him dinner,” he said with a wide smile and the girl by the reception told him the cafeteria was on his right and that Yuta’s break was soon so he walked toward it. He reached the cafeteria and sat down, fidgeting and playing with a napkin he picked.

He had at least ten rolls of paper in front of him when he noticed Yuta with other nurses. He felt like someone punched him on the chest and had to hold on the table. His eyes couldn’t leave Yuta but everything crumbled around him as guilt overwhelmed the joy of founding his soulmate. A sudden wave of self-hatred hit him as the thoughts that Yuta saw his soulmate focus on someone else but him. Yuta looked toward him and perhaps his expression was of pure agony the way his heart felt at that moment because the man rushed toward him.

“Are you okay? Where does it hurt? Should I call for assistance?” the man asked in a hurry, picking Johnny’s wrist to check his pulse. 

Johnny stood and realized he was dizzy in the process. “I came here to apologize,” he said, avoiding Yuta’s eyes, “I am sorry for being the most idiotic kind of soulmates, the worst even, and for ignoring you on our first meeting. I don’t think a simple apology would suffice so I brought you food. I hope you will forgive me someday because right now, I hate myself enough for the both of us.” Johnny almost ran off of the hospital but he barely could walk as soon as the wind hit him. He sat down, winded, lost, hurt, confused, and upset. He was completely upset with himself. 

He managed to go home and lay on his bed, unmoving until Mark got in. “I am glad you got home,” Mark said as he sat by Johnny, “Why didn’t you answer the phone?” 

“I didn’t hear it ring,” Johnny simply said, not even looking at him. “He hates me, right? He must hate me.” 

“Yuta doesn’t hate you, he was worried when he called me to look after you. He said you looked like you were in pain,” Mark explained as he examined Johnny’s body. “Are you okay though?” 

“I’m not,” Johnny whimpered as a sob threatened to leave his lips, “I felt it. I felt that realization moment that he was my soulmate and… I hate myself because I spent days thinking it was someone else. I failed my soulmate while I spent ten years looking for him, Mark. I’ve never felt so disappointed with myself.” 

Mark nodded, understanding, “I can’t blame you for being upset. You, unlike most of us, worked hard to find your soulmate so to miss him when he was right there must be disappointing.” Mark sighed. “In a way, it was my fault too, I should have told you that whatever you said in that restroom fit Yuta more than Ten. Yuta dyed his hair blond the day before he met you while Ten had his hair in blond for a year or so… I knew it was Yuta since then but I didn’t tell you.” 

“I didn’t deserve it anyway,” Johnny mumbled, “I ignored him the second he was there, Mark. Nobody ignored their soulmate the way I did.” 

Mark didn’t push. it was clear that Johnny was extremely disappointed in himself and needed a moment to come in term with that. Mark stayed there until Johnny looked like he calmed down. He didn’t truly sleep so when Mark spoke on the phone, he was listening. 

“He had never looked so bad,” Mark said, “I think he may need time to actually face you again. He is really disappointed with himself. He refused to eat, even when I offered to pay, can you imagine? Johnny is a big eater, he never turned down free food. I am worried, Yuta, please do something. Yeah, I’ll keep an eye on him, don’t worry. Sure, I’ll let you know. Thanks for telling me what happened. Yeah. Have a peaceful shift.” 

Johnny slept as soon as Mark curled by his side, his mind registering the guilt first. 

He woke up feeling sick, unable to eat or function properly. He simply had a shower and curled in bed. He didn’t feel like living another day so when he went to the bar, everybody noticed Johnny wasn’t okay. 

The manager offered him another night off but Johnny just forced a smile. “I’m just sick, I think I got cold,” he explained, “it makes me feel like I will die but it’s not something big. I’ll be fine.” 

The manager didn’t push and allowed Johnny to work, even if he couldn’t smile. He was still friendly. He returned home even more tired and skipped everything for the sake of sleep only to wake up even worse. 

He called for a delivery, too tired to cook, and drank his painkillers, mostly because it’s the only med he had. Drinking coffee helped him shake sleep off him but he was still tired. He couldn’t even eat more than two slices of pizza before he packed everything in the fridge. Tired, he decided to just shower and sit by the window, hoping the sun will make him feel better.

He slept there until his time to go to work approached. However, his manager insisted that he should get checked. “You look much paler than yesterday, drawzier too,” the man explained, “did you eat?” 

“Yes, I got myself some pizza,” Johnny said, forcing a smile, “maybe I’ll get myself a coffee cocktail to get a boost and you can deduce it from my pay.” 

“Ask for a strong version and it’s on the house,” The manager said patting his back. “If you can’t work today, don’t push.” 

Johnny got himself a cocktail but it didn’t make him look any better. He ended up asking for makeup. One of his coworkers was kind enough to add some cream blush to his cheeks and lips so he won’t look like a walking corpse but by the end of the shift, makeup couldn’t hide his state. His coworkers had to call Mark at five in the morning because he couldn’t stay until the closing time at six. His head was throbbing so badly and his body felt light. He felt like he would faint if ever he stepped outside work. 

He was expecting Mark to show up, not Yuta, so his heart squeezed and he tried to look anywhere but at the man’s face, especially since the man looked quite worried. “Why are you here?” Johnny couldn’t help but ask.

“Mark told me you are sick so I told my colleague to take me pick you up. I’ll get you checked, you don’t look good,” Yuta said as he held Johnny’s arm. Johnny wanted to argue but he felt like the world was dancing in front of him and held on Yuta the tightest he could but like he predicted, he fainted as soon as he stepped a foot outside. 

He woke up to find himself on a hospital bed, the sun hitting him full force, and looked around to find Mark sitting with Yuta. They looked focused on something so they didn’t notice Johnny’s eyes until a nurse got in. “You are awake,” the nurse said with a smile, “welcome back.” 

Johnny frowned, uncertain of what it meant, but Mark and Yuta were soon by his side. “How do you feel? Does anything hurt?” Johnny shook his head at Mark’s questions. “You worried me, Johnny. I nearly lost it when they told me you were in intensive care.” 

“Why was I in intensive care?” Johnny asked with a hoarse voice, feeling his throat dry. “What happened?” 

“Your blood pressure dropped as well as your sugar level to a dangerous level. I doubt you would have survived another hour,” Yuta explained, rather stoically, “I’m glad I managed to get you in the hospital before you had a stroke.” 

Johnny looked at Yuta, observing the man’s face. “You didn’t have to save me, but thank you.” Yuta looked at Mark who sighed deeply. “I want to sleep, if possible,” Johnny eventually said and they nodded before they left him alone. Yuta didn’t leave the room while Mark excused himself to pick Lunch 

Being alone with Yuta made him feel tons of things at once. He couldn’t sleep back, despite how tired he also felt, so much everything in him was aware Yuta was a foot away from him. Yuta let out a sigh and stood to face the window. It was a sight Johnny felt would be marked in his mind forever. The way the sun hit Yuta’s face as he tilted his head to welcome the light and the way the light itself was making Yuta look like he came out of a manga.

Johnny couldn’t help but stare at the man without blinking. “I can feel you poke holes in my skin,” Yuta commented suddenly and Johnny flinched.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, fixing the hem of his blanket. “It’s just…” 

Yuta smiled before looking at him and Johnny looked away in embarrassment. “I have some days off that I owe the hospital. it’s about ten days, and I was wondering if I can take you somewhere, ask you out and.. Get to know you.” Johnny looked at Yuta as if the man grew a head and Yuta smirked as he asked. “You don’t want to know me?” 

“Of course I do,” Johnny yelled before flinching at how loud he was. “I’m sorry, I just… I still feel guilty.” 

“And I will punish you for ignoring me,” Yuta approached Johnny close enough to blow air on the man’s cheek as he said, “I’ll make sure you learn to never ignore me.” 

“I already learned that,” Johnny mumbled as he turned crimson, “but are you sure you still want me?” 

Yuta’s smirk remained while his expression softened and he nodded. Johnny could only look at him and keep his mouth shut. Yuta didn’t say much to Johnny as Mark returned and the men were clearly close. Johnny could only listen to them and feel the burn of jealousy in his chest. 

He realized he slept when he woke up again and found the room bathing in darkness. He was alone and as he sighed in relief, tears fell from eyes at the last thing Yuta told him or agreed on. 

Yuta, his soulmate, still wanted him in his life despite how stupid he acted. It was a miracle in Johnny’s books. Equal waves of guilt and joy hit him as he shifted in bed and slept back. 

He was discharged the next morning and his manager made sure to be there. “I am sorry I made you work, I should have insisted that you rest,” he said friendly, “I’ll give you a week off as soon as the part timer starts working with us.” 

Yuta rushed to Johnny’s side at that. “Oh, I planned to take him on my week off, can I know when the part timer would start working?” Yuta asked and the man frowned in confusion. “Oh, I’m Johnny’s soulmate.” 

“Oh! Finally?” the old man smiled brightly as he held Yuta’s hand, shaking it. “He didn’t stop talking about his soulmate and looking for him, I really admired him. If it was me, I would have given up ages ago.” 

It made Yuta look at Johnny who turned crimson and looked at Mark for assistance. Mark only smiled, interested in the discussion as the manager kept on telling Yuta tales of Johnny’s journey to find him. By the time they got in Yuta’s care, Johnny was sure he was redder than the shirt he was wearing. 

Yuta drove silently the entire way but as soon as Mark got out, Yuta spoke. “I will pick you up once you are off,” he didn’t look at Johnny as he said that. Johnny was surprised but only hummed and left the car, confused. Yuta waved bye before driving away and Mark chuckled in amusement.

“He would never change,” Mark commented before noticing Johnny’s expression. “Don’t be confused, he is trying to show you love without showing you love. He’s like that, he gives all his heart to an emotion or a person or a concept but try his hardest not to show it.” 

“Because I’m a stranger,” Johnny butted in and Mark nodded. 

“We all are strangers to our soulmates, we all need time to learn about them so give him time,” Mark said patting his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”

Johnny didn’t just give Yuta time but he also tried his best to be careful around the man. When he was given the week off, Yuta also had his week off. He picked Johnny from work at six am, took him home, made him food, and helped him clean up. “Mark complained about your sleeping schedule so I’ll try to make you sleep normally for a week,” Yuta said and Johnny frowned. Mark never actually commented on his sleeping schedules ever before he got a boyfriend so he wondered if Yuta didn’t use Mark as a shield. 

He nodded, shy, and smiled at Yuta who sat by his side. “Thank you for everything,” he said as he picked his chopsticks.

“It’s a pleasure. I prefer also to see how your blood pressure and sugar dropped so it’s a good thing for me,” Yuta said, picking his chopsticks.

Johnny frowned, thinking. He wondered what made his body react that way too. “I felt sick the second I realized you were my soulmate,” Johnny mumbled to himself. 

Yet, Yuta heard him. “I guess It may have hurt you to feel guilty toward your soulmate,” Yuta commented with a smile, “but I don’t see why.” 

“I ignored you,” Johnny pointed out.

“I wasn’t that mad,” Yuta assured, “after a while it made sense why you didn’t look at me, so I wasn’t mad.” 

“Mark said you refused to meet me,” Johnny pointed out again.

Yuta’s expression dropped and he rested the chopsticks down. “Honestly, I feared you would be disappointed because you seemed attracted to Ten’s type,” He admitted and looked at Johnny, worry filling his face.

Johnny blinked at him, confused before he realized Yuta was serious. “You, disappoint me? Are you for real?” Johnny asked the man who remained stoic and he smiled, amused, “you know when Ten smiled at me, I immediately knew he wasn’t my soulmate and totally not what I wanted to see and I wonder when will I get the chance to see you smile.” 

Yuta’s ear turned red and he smirked before he shook his head. “You are a tease.” 

“Glad you know me well now, soulmate.” Johnny kept his smile as he observed Yuta. He realized that Mark was wrong; Yuta wasn’t trying to hide his heart, he was trying to hide his insecurities and as much as it made him feel pain, it made him feel much happy to see Yuta unwilling to hide them from him. “You know,” he said suddenly, “no matter how many flaws you see in yourself, I’ve spent the past ten years in love with each one of them. Okay?” 

Yuta’s neck was crimson when he nodded, shyly side eyeing Johnny who just digged in, happy beyond measure. 


End file.
